Guests

As a part of the Marienlyst - Wuppertal cooperation agreement, Daniel Thompsen and Shane Alexander are both here for the week to train with us. So far, we've done very little ball work, opting instead, to lift weights and do more jump specific training. But, tonight we should have a mostly competetive practice and it should be interesting to see how they fit in with the rest of the guys. It's also great for us to have a couple extra players since we have had so many injuries lately. Although, with Shane, we now have three setters and that can never be a good thing. I might have to warm up the old shoulder and show the rest of the team how to put a couple of balls away.

Seriously though, it looks like Gergei and I will do a lot of switching in and out on one side while Shane runs a team on his own. Kind of a weird system but also kind of good for everyone. We get to work specifically with one side while Shane gets to figure things out and get a lot of touches. In any case, it should be nice to get a real strong practice under our belts, 6 vs. 6 is always so much better than 5 vs. 6 or whatever else. It makes a huge difference to have that complete team.

One of the major differences between what I’ve experienced in Germany so far and what I experienced while I played in Denmark is the difference in the general attitude of the people. It’s a hard thing to describe accurately, but there is a certain palpable excitement that flashes across people’s faces when you tell them that you are a professional volleyball player. In Denmark, I had many a conversation that sounded like this:

Random Person: “So, what are you doing in Denmark?”
Me (after awkward look comes across my face): “I play volleyball?” (The question in my voice making it obvious that I don’t expect them to know what I’m talking about).
Random Person: “Nåh… Can you live from that?”
Me: “Barely.”

And then we would move on. The point is that people were generally put off by the idea that I could play volleyball professionally. I don’t know if it was because they had never heard of that before, if volleyball is so small that most people don’t know there is even a league, or if they just didn’t really care, but it was almost always the same weird conversation. Of course, some people were more enthusiastic than others, but no one ever got that kind of starry-eyed look in their eye.

Now, I’m definitely not trying to insinuate that I’m living here in Germany, snorting gold-laced cocaine off of the backs of rare Asian imported white tigers, eating only green M&M’s, like a rock star; however, there is a big difference in the way I, and the team are perceived. People here want autographs, they want to shake our hands and generally, they treat us with more respect than we deserve. It’s a thrill and a weird feeling all in one. In any case, it’s a big difference from what I’m used to.

Interlude

I don't know if everyone knows this, but the Bundesliga is going to sleep for about a month starting this weekend. The break is because of the world championships in Japan in November and since Germany is competing several teams in the league will be missing players for the month.

What does that mean for the common man you ask? What will the average volleyball player be doing during this time?

Well, it means that we have a month without any league matches. It does not, however, mean we have no practice. Nope, we get one week off and then it's back to the grind. Circle/Circuit training will rear its ugly head, weight lifting will intensify and training will probably be a little bit more technical. Basically, we'll be doing all the same stuff we did during the pre-season in an effort to keep everyone's bodies from falling apart down the road.

We've been particularly affected by injuries so far this year losing a back up outside hitter for two months, one of our opposites until the end of November and Mads was just out for a little while. All of that besides the small injuries that everyone deals with day to day. But generally it has to be said that we're in pretty good shape at this point in the season. Sitting in third place after a good chunk of the first half of the schedule has been played. Admittedly, we've played our share of "weaker" teams, but none of those teams are easy teams to beat. From what everyone is saying, even though we aren't sitting in first place like last year, the team is playing better at this point in the season. So, hopefully things will continue to go the right way.

Over the weekend we played Rottenburg, a team that didn't play in the Bundesliga last year, and ended up winning 3-1. Again, I got a good chance to play in this match, coming in after the second set and helping our team win the last two. Things have gone well lately when I've been on the court and I've been pretty happy with the way I've developed. It's also fun to see the difference in our team when we switch setters. Gergei sets a lot more balls to the outside and pipe while I focus a lot on the middles and I think it throws other teams off to have to adjust to our very different playing styles. Of course, our own team has to adjust as well, but I don't think I've ever seen such a difference in style from one setter to the other.

We're going into the break optimistic after having accomplished a fair amount here in the beginning of the season. Good luck to everyone else who is actually playing during that time, I'm also looking forward to seeing Marienlyst come down here at the end of November, that should be fun as well. Also, good luck to those ripper Volleyroos, bloody oath!

First Start...Disaster.

Driving the six hours back from Friedrichshafen last night I had a good chance to consider a match that our team will remember for a long time. Friedrichshafen is, without a doubt, a good volleyball team with lots of physical, experienced players on their roster. Clearly, there were few outside of Wuppertal that gave us very much chance to win a match in their gym. And after the way we played last night, those people are justified.

Positively for myself, I got my first start in a Wuppertal jersey last night, something I had hoped for but was still a little surprised to have happen. Standing on the court before the match started I was excited, it felt good to be out there from the beginning, hopefully it will happen more often in the future.

But, on to the match, as a whole it was a poor performance from our team. Afterwards, Jens said that he felt that we were influenced by the fact that it was Friedrichshafen on the other side and that we gave them too much respect. Whether or not that is true is unimportant, because in the end, it looked like we were. The mistakes we made were the ones that you make when you play scared, when you play afraid of making mistakes. As much of a cliche as that is, it was obviously true. I tend to think that we all put too much pressure on ourselves. Generally, when everyone is telling each other to, "play loose" and that, "we have nothing to lose" then the match is already lost. Why should we play any different than any other time? As soon as you start saying, "let's play loose" you are pretty much guaranteed to play tight. And we did.

For a good portion of the first and third set we were actually playing good volleyball, aside from serving. Our sideout was effective and we were able to keep the score close for long sections. Unfortunately, we couldn't put any defensive/serve pressure on them and that just made it too easy for their side. In the end, we would make a couple of mistakes and they would make a few good serves and all of a sudden we would be behind by three or four points at the end of the set.

I've played in matches like this before and I think that is what makes me sick about this match in particular. The next day, or even hours after playing, you sit back and think about the match and you realize that you did play nervous in some aspects and that it was totally stupid. You need to play as best as you can and let the chips fall where they may, but you don't play tentative because that never does anything good for anyone. The feeling I have, is that if I could do it over again, I could play the match ten times better than I did, mostly from the service line, and that's a feeling that I don't want to have again. It's a feeling that I tell myself to remember because the next time I am in that same situation, I have to be able to change my focus and get better. And that's what I want to kick myself for, because I know better.

Anyways, there were some positives, setting wise, I feel good about what I did yesterday. I'm unhappy with two or three decisions but those are going to happen sometimes. Otherwise, we can take this loss and turn it into something positive I hope. I think that if we all understand what happened yesterday and decide to embrace the fact that we can all learn from it we will get better and we will be better prepared to play in the same kind of match in the future. Even more importantly, even though we were controlled by them yesterday, that team is not unbeatable. And in the face of such a bad loss, we'll have to take whatever we can get out of it and move on.

Game Time

I finally got a chance to play a fair amount in our match against VCO Berlin and I'll tell you what - playing is more fun than not playing!

We drove to Berlin a few men short, Lars and David are out with long term injuries and in the morning training before we left, Mads hurt his knee. So, going into the match we knew that there were two people left on the bench who could actually play if necessary: Me and a middle blocker, Andi.

We won the first set and lost the second, both semi-close. I came in at the end of the second set and played the last ten points, got subbed out for the last point and to my surprise came back to start the 3rd set. From there I played the rest of the way. We ended up winning the 3rd and 4th, still close, but no question about it, I had a good time finally playing a bit. I've been coming off the bench for small runs of points, tours through the backrow, etc... but haven't really had the chance to establish a real rhythm with the team, so it was really nice to get a chance to run my offense and settle into the match a little bit. In any case, it was exciting and even though we were supposed to beat this team, it still feels good to have had some influence on the match.

Now, we look to a much harder opponent. Tomorrow we leave for Friedrichshafen knowing that we're going to have to play a real good match if we want to come away with anything. Bet and Win has us as 11 to 1 underdogs so apparently our second place doesn't buy us very much respect...

#2 With a Bullet

We’re several weeks into the main schedule now and everything is working out fairly well. At the moment we’re sitting number two tied with a couple of other teams. Partly because we have played more games, partly because we have had a fairly easy schedule so far and partly because we are playing pretty well and have won some important matches.

Our biggest win this year was clearly the 3-0 thrashing that we gave Moers in their home gym. Coming into the match they were heavily favored (I’m not sure exactly why, looking at their team and comparing to ours they are not particularly impressive) and had won against Unterhaching and SCC Berlin, two teams that are also top teams in the Bundesliga. Two things about Moers, they set the ball higher than I have ever seen a team set, the tempo of their offense is not one of their advantages. Blocking against them is like when you are learning to ride a bike and you have training wheels and then you take them off and suddenly riding is so much better and faster. We blocked a lot of balls in this match, mostly because we had enough time to (as Jens likes to say) enjoy a cup of coffee from the time the ball left the setter’s hands until it reached the attacker. Second thing about Moers, their opposite, George Grozer is probably the best attacker I have ever played against and I can understand why they set him so high. He hit balls out of the back row diagonally inside our three meter line, easily. It was impressive to see, the kind of hits where all you can do is just clap and say good hit, we’ll try and get the next one. I heard that Moers signed him to a contract a couple of years ago and he didn’t know that the club had put in an option for themselves that gave them the opportunity to keep him for two more years. Which sucks I’m sure when you are getting offers from Italy… Anyways, that was a big match for us and it has given us confidence that we can hopefully use against the big time teams later in the schedule.

This week we’re headed to Berlin to play one of the lowest ranked teams in the league. They are basically the junior national team and they aren’t terrible, but they haven’t won a match yet even though they have been close. Another win and we go into Friedrichshafen next week in the number two spot…

A Life on the Outside

A few people have asked me what it’s like playing in a stronger league on a team with a deep roster. Generally, I tell them that it is all a learning experience for me, that I have slowly been getting used to the more physical, taller players and the faster tempo of the game. I came into this season with the expectation that I would have to play very well to earn a starting role on the team, and that it would take quite a bit of time before that could even happen. But, that doesn’t mean that standing outside of the court during our matches is easy.

Throughout my career as a volleyball player, I’ve spent little time on the bench. The times that I can remember are short and inconsistent with me being subbed in often. So, the situation here in Germany has been different for me. Up until now, I have yet to play my first points in the Bundesliga, in our two matches I’ve watched entirely from off the court.

Not playing is a grind. I’ve never realized what being a bench player entails, besides the physical aspect (standing for two hours and trying to remain warm is not really that easy, at least basketball and football players have actual benches to sit on) the mental side of being a back up is extremely difficult to grasp. Leading up to a match I can feel my body and my mind getting excited, after all, that’s what warm-ups are for, but as soon as the match is ready to begin and I’m not headed for the court, it is very difficult not to feel some sort of let down. Your body is ready to play, your mind is ready to play, and there is no outlet for that emotion. You feel the emotions with the rest of the team on the court, you want to win, and you want to help your team, but in the most basic way you have no connection to what is going on inside the court. It’s a hard adjustment to make when you are used to playing all the time.

Several people have also asked me how I feel about being on the outside of the court during matches. The question usually implies that I must have a hard time being satisfied with not starting but I don’t really feel that way. Is it hard not playing all the time? Sure. But do I have an issue with it? No, definitely not. Referring to my previous post, I’m fucking Zen. I knew where I stood when I came here, and I have no problem with competing for my spot. I’m going to keep coming to practice and I’m going to keep working hard until my chance comes. Because, to be honest, I like where I am right now, I like the fact that I can see improvement in my game every week. I like that I am getting more and more comfortable with each player and their role on the team. I’m confident that when it’s my turn I’ll be ready and that’s all that I can be at this point.

Tomorrow we play our second home match of the season against Leipzig. If we want to be a top team this year that means that this has to be a win for us. When you play at home against a team not named Friedrichshafen or Duren you pretty much have to win. So, hopefully the team will come with the same intensity that it did in the first set from last week. If we do, it won’t be easy to beat us…even if I’m not on the court…

Zen

Two days ago, I had one of the worst days of practice I have ever had. Nothing went right, every touch on the ball felt awkward and wrong. Instead of doing something to help the team each time I played the ball I was doing the opposite. My hands felt sticky, my legs heavy and most importantly, my head was elsewhere. No matter what I did I couldn’t get myself into that place that an athlete needs to be in to do well. And after spending a lot of time replaying that day in my head, I think that I’m starting to understand why.

Here’s the main reason: My focus was misplaced. I don’t mean focus as far as concentrating on the game. I was most certainly focused on the task at hand. But specifically, I was focusing on things that were of absolutely no value to me at the time.

Let me explain the way practice was structured that day. Morning training consisted of a warm up game called Hagebau, a game based on the principles of soccer and volleyball, which has become just as competitive as anything else we do down here. This day, the “young” team, made up of the younger players on the team, killed the old and set the negative tone for what would be a terrible day for me. Afterwards we did a bit of straight setter training and a few light drills afterward. The night training, and I count this as the worst of the two, was basically a competitive practice with scrimmage-like drills taking up all of the two hours.

The thing that worried me most about playing so poorly on this day was the fact that I had a good feeling going into the day. I’ve felt an improvement in my game over the last few weeks, and felt that I had been training well, doing my job and working hard to get better every single day. My serving felt stronger than it had in a long while, my hands felt light like I could do almost anything with the ball I wanted to. In short, I felt strong. So, going into the day, I was full of confidence, I knew that I was improving and I was looking forward to getting a chance to continue.

But somewhere along the way, my priorities got mixed up. Instead of going into that night competitive training with the mindset that I was going to keep improving, focus on the aspects of my game that needed work and just work hard, I came in thinking only about winning. Now, winning is absolutely one of the most important parts of playing sports. Anyone who says different is not being honest with themselves or anyone around them. But, focusing on winning, especially while playing, is a complete and utter waste of time.

The concept is nothing profound. I don’t claim that what I’m saying is innovative or deep. However, I do believe that it is something we lose sight of all the time.

For example, when I walked into the gym on Thursday night, I had already had a full training earlier in the day where I didn’t feel very good about my game. Like I said, my legs were slow, my hands didn’t feel very good, I didn’t feel like I could make solid connection with the ball. I knew all of these things, I felt them somewhere in the back of my mind but when I got to training and I saw that we were going to have a competitive game like practice I immediately started thinking about winning each drill. We warmed up, did hitting lines and served. And I still didn’t feel good about my game, but I remember still thinking, when the games start, hopefully I’ll be able to switch it around.

What happened? The team I was on lost every single set that we played. Zero wins and five losses. And we switched around a lot so I brought the losses to both sides of the net. As a setter, I take a lot of responsibility for those losses. No one has a bigger influence on the outcome of a volleyball match than a setter.

The funny thing is, I spent the whole time worrying about the score, worrying about the refereeing, worrying about the difference in how hard the free balls were to my side of the net compared to their side of the net. Worrying about losing…

I finally realized afterward that these were the things that a loser would think about. These were the things that I hadn’t been spending my time on for the past two months.

So, what should I have been thinking about? Well, that’s the tough question. The more I think about it, and this is for me personally, the more I think that getting better and being a great player is based on working on your weaknesses all the time. More than that, it is identifying your weaknesses on any given day. Maybe today your legs are tired and that means that you have to work that much harder to make sure you move your feet and get to the position you need to be in. I have a tendency to drop my hands when I set and not take the ball as high as I should (something I did all of Thursday without doing anything about it) and I have to remind myself all the time to take the ball high. We all have lots of things that we have to work on and it is a constant struggle with yourself to keep working on those things. But the only way to get better is to focus on them and correct them and continue to develop as a player.

Second, I think all great players have the ability to drop all of their insecurities when they get on the court. This is directly related to focus because once you drop that insecurity you are free to just play the game. All of a sudden, winning doesn’t reflect positively or negatively on the player because it is what we can call an “outcome goal”. We all know that winning is not 100% dependent on how well we play, there are several factors that influence the outcome of every match or game. Luck, weather, opponent’s ability, refereeing, teammates, these are all things that can make even the best performance a losing one. Without insecurity, a player can play without distraction, the only thing that matters is their performance and knowing inside their heart that they have done all that they could do to help their team. They can be courageous and they can play without pressure because the only important pressure comes from inside, and usually, a player who plays this way wins. Once you forget about winning, you generally win and that, for me, is a zen-like state.

So, that’s where I’m at right now, trying to lose all of my insecurities. Trying to take what the coaches tell me without saying, “But….” Because they don’t want to hear an excuse and an excuse only holds me back from my goals. When I make a mistake, the goal is to correct that mistake and do it right next time, not to get angry at my hitter for not putting the ball away so that I don’t look bad. I lose sight of this all the time and it doesn’t do anyone any good, and I think if we’re being honest others do too, and it all comes from being insecure about our own abilities and what others, whether it’s a coach or spectators, etc…, think about us.

Friday was a much better day and even though I’m sure there will be more bad days at some point, I’m trying to stay zen. Until we lose in Hagebau again that is…